In a tale of Wales, Mario Cart, and Sleeping troubles!

10:10 a.m.

Okay so I'm having some sleep problems and can't seem to wake up in the morning. Argh! I like this pirate them, I'm gonna stick with it. Anyway I went to Wales, it was cool. Yes I walk four miles in the rain, and yes I spent most of the time car sick or air sick on buses or planes. But it was still cool. How many kids can say that they've been to Wales, how many kids my age can even say that they've gone out of the country? The country in Wales in really quite beautiful.

I learned something today, that I really suck at packman. I am still in my pajamas actually and need to rush off to school. Aaaaaaah! I am so, so, so, so excited that I have only two days of junior high next week, and no dance, no clogging or ballroom! Which is good because my thighs hurt and my toes hurt and my heels hurt, and ow my elbow! Oh, wait I hit that on the corner of the wall, that is one injury that did not come from dance.

Okay well, that is all and all.

I just decided to type random stuff, random random!

I think I'm getting good an Mario Cart and then I play my five year old brother and get beat good so I guess I'm really not improving in the game cube area.

I hate the cold and love the wind!



Good bye!

Silence, at times powerful and other times a hurtful enemy

So it was my birthday two days ago. And no I'm not going to say I feel old, because I don't. Anyway I think my sister broke my ipod which sucks, it's frozen on one page and it stays lit up. Oh, but about two days ago. So for my birthday I got hit in the head twice by metal doors(once by my locker and once by the school front entrance doors as result of an accident), oh and my pencil broke in math so I had a lot of homework and I had to walk to and from school on a spranged ankle. Fun, wouldn't you say? But then we went to YW night of excellence and my YW leaders from my old ward came and brought me 25 roses. It made my day, they are so nice to me! I miss my old ward so much, it's so hard to adjust to being in a new ward, especially when your shy like me. Most people who know me might not think I'm that shy, but I am until I warm up to people then it's like hyper mode and talkative and laughing and smiling all the time. My mom says it might take two years for me to fully get used to this ward. I really don't want to be in uncomfortable silence for that long. It's painful to just stand on the outside, I've never been the type of person who can push into cliques very well. I mean these Young Women, their parents grew up together, they've grown up together and here I am just plopped in here. When your standing on the outside it's painful on your soul and your legs, you just keep thinking of ways to talk to people and get involved and then when you try you feel so stupid afterwards. I love our new house, and out new step dad, he's awesome and yet sometimes I really wish I was just back in my old ward where I had friends and good relationships. I really shouldn't be complaining, at least I didn't have to change schools.
I've been thinking alot about silence, I read this book called "The Chosen" that had alot about silence. They say that through silence you can hear the world crying, that through silence you can listen to what isn't being said. It seems that each person wears a mask, a writer wears the mask of his/her writing, and actor can play any role they wish but rarely will they play the role of themselves. I know that it is very difficult for a person to understand another person when they are not standing in their shoes, and even then they don't have their soul, another person wouldn't deal with on situation the same way as someone else would. I think though we can create a link of understanding if we try to look past the mask, see the person, take the chance to look through their eyes and most importantly listen to what their not saying.

A helping hand

No one sees the girl,

as she sits alone, so alone.

No one cares to say hello,

everyone passes no one notices.

Tears run down the small child's face,

a face where a smile should have been.

Legs held tight to her chest,

arms wrapped gently about her.

People pass her on their way to their busy lives,

only no one stops to see the girl with tears on her face.

Until one day someone sees,

and that someone changed her world.

I do not know really why I wrote this post only that I did, and that this short poem is not really fictional but is more real than we can ever know, the last two lines don't have to be there, it can end with 'the tears on her face', but those two lines are there in hopes that there is some one who would help such a child, we don't even know how much of a difference we can make in one little girls life, that difference can amaze you and can amaze me. That pretty much explains the poem though it does not explain my reason for placing it here, I guess you could call it, inspiration that needed to be written down. As in the above picture we can offer a helping hand to the child, we can change their world, in some cases we may even save their life, this is the simple truth, we live in a world where terrible things happen to children, we have it extremely good. If the time comes that I ever meet one of these children I hope I will be brave enough, strong enough to reach out my hand and pull her up.

I want to...

I am soooooooo bored! I want to listen to music, I want to spread eagle on my carpet, I want to curl up in bed and be a rock, I want to run in the rain, I want do a cartwheel, I want to climb on the roof, I want to fly a cow, I want to grow a potato tree...I actually really do not know what I want to do, at all! This totally sucks, I have gotten what, like two hours of sleep in the last three days? Excuuuuse me if I can't think correctly, I think I had brain damage since I was born! So I'm in this war with my friend, my flying cows against her fat sheep that can roll, only it seems we're at a stand still, we've been in this war what, a month and neither of us will give in to the other! Elle, if your reading this right now you are going to lose, I will prevail my cows are soooooo much better than your sheep! Anyway that is all for now, this post began with no point and will end with no point and so I say...Hey look a Llama!

Saying goodbye...

Yesterday we had some bad news, we have to get rid of all our cats, all four of them. The parents have threatened with it before, but this time I'm afraid their actually going go through with it. I love my cat, Taffy, so much. The only reason they have to get rid of them is because their finding pee all over the house, the problem is why do we have to get rid of all of them when it's probably just one or two cats? Only the other problem is how do we know which one, I've tried other things, expierements on my own and I am almost completely certain my cat is not one of the culprits, only the parents havn't seen the evidence I've seen and how are they to beleive what I beleive if I'm not even absolutely sure myself? The thing is there were so many things I told them they could have tried a while ago and by now they probably would have had just as much pee in the house only they'd have known which cat(s) had done it. I love my kitty, she is my comforter when I'm sad, and I hate to get rid of her. I can only hope that I can find my loving cat a home. Two times now I have, or my cat has been, the culprit of accusations. I already had to get rid of my first cat, Licorice, to the pound, no one can know what that was like, how terrible it felt to hear his frightened meows, imagine having remembered the last moments spent with your cat of him balled up against the back of a carrier, hair standing on end, frightened and scared. It was not my fault that I was forced to give him up and yet I am the one that feels the guilt when I remember the way the woman at the pound looked at me, I am the one who still gets tears to my eyes when I think of those last pictures I have of him, no I will not do it again, if Taffy ends up having to be taken to the pound I will not take her, I would so much rather have my last memories be holding her in my arms, if the parents want the cats gone they should do the dirty work, they should feel the guilt as the woman looks in their eyes with dissapointment. But I'm not giving up yet, I'm going to try to find her a home, she is a good cat and I love her as if she were part of our family, I'm sure someone else could love her just as much. The saddest part is though the parents keep them outside and so we can't even spend any of the last few days, hugging, playing and remembering our loving pets, instead we can only hear their tortured meows as they cry out to be let inside. I don't mean to make the parents sound like the bad guys, I mean what else are they to do? I know it's hurting my mom too, not because she actually cares about the animals, but because she knows getting rid of them will hurt us, the children. I'd like to end with a short poem I wrote last night when I couldn't sleep.

To never feel her gentle fur
To never hear her happy purr

To never hold her close to me
To never pet her while she sleeps

To never see her green, green eyes
To never hold her as I cry

Because now I have to say "goodbye"

Packing my bags and I'm out of here, as soon as I turn eighteen...

When the wood floors shake beneath your feet and you hear a very loud banging noise like thunder much too close for comfort, well it ain't no earthquake it actually happens to be a washer machine, dun, dun, dun, dun. Especially on spin cycle, your afraid that thing is going to blow up in your face along with all the clothes in it, that is one scary thing, I don't think it can help it really it was never a good washer and it is older but our nice washer broke so out with the calm swishing and in with the thunder! I'm so excited that the signs of fall are actually here, it does happen to be my favorite season, not that it has anything to do with my birthday being in October or anything, okay maybe just a little bit. But I really do love the way the leaves turn color, I love the soft cool breezes blowing in, the wind and the rain (that's my favorite part) altogether fall to me, is the perfect season. I never really liked snow though, or sweltering heat, I've always wanted to move to Oregon, they never get snow where my cousins live and hardly ever have sweltering heat, mostly just rain and wind, which would be nice, very nice. Okay well now that you got me started I'm going to have to tell you all the places I want to live, working at my grandma's allowed me to pick up on a few geographical things.

Boring or Zigzag, Oregon

Chattanooga, Tennessee 

Chickamaunga, Minnesota or Michigan ??

Atlama or Gill, Georgia

and last but certainly not least

Sandwitch, wherever that is one of the M states, how am I supposed to remember?

Anyway I think that's enough writing for today, oh and news, I got my passport two days ago I am now a free woman! I can't wait to go to Whales, Great Britain, that's the first place on my list and guess what, my dad said he'd take me for my birthday, mostly because he's a flight attendant and we have free flights, but that is still sooo cool! This is the end of todays post if you are still reading than your just like me and can't be satisfied until the text comes to a complete stop, but what if I just kept on typing and typing and typing than would you ever get off the computer, ever? It's kind of like the game, big red button, if you've never played it, you should now is the official end to the text.

The sun burns! I thought summer was over...

I've been lazy I admit, I should have written a while ago, it's not like moving my fingers along the keyboard is really that difficult, of course writing this does require some brain power, which sometimes I don't seem to have. I'm listening to sherwood right now, I got some new songs from them and their awesome so are the wombats, their from england which is cool! So I spent all this time writing a story for my step brother for his birthday and when he first sees me he says he hates me and hits me, I know he's having trouble adjusting but he really seems to hate me, I never even mentioned his present. Anyway school started yesterday and I made it confusing for myself, again. I'm going part time, my foot in two different schools, the best of both worlds right? Well it can get really confusing, but I'm happy, I really like having choices, a little of each I don't know if I could stand to sit in classrooms all day long! It was soooo hot yesterday and I go to school in the afternoons, it was torture and the longest most boring school day ever! Mostly because it was the first day where the teachers read disclosures and all that, my other school hasn't started yet and so up until noon I really have nothing to do, I guess that's why I decided to write this, only an hour and a half more, I'll find some way to pass the time, mostly I've just been reading and writing and listening to my little brother play his computer games with the volume turned up all the way, of course I try to drown it out with my music, doesn't always work, well enough of the meaningless typing, I think my brain is getting sick of staring at a screen, algebra should do me some good, might make my brain happy at least, that's all for today, zoning out...right now.