Mother

I've decided to post a few of my favorite poems that I have written.
I'll post them in time so that there is not an overwhelming amount of new text here.
This first one I wrote for my mother for mother's day.
This is dedicated to her.

Mother
By: Anne Ivy

A darkness deep,
Surrounds my child,
In restless sleep,
Lost and tired.

There is a light,
A beam of hope,
To give sight
To a world unknown.

A smile, a sigh
A lifelong friend.
A loving angel
I will send.

To bless, to help,
To save, to bring
All my children
Back to me.

Through lives trials
My children will fall
She is a soft pillow,
To catch them all.

She will never be
As any other.
My dear, lost child,
I send you a mother.

I am so grateful for all that my mother does for me. Every child deserves to have a mother, even when at times a teenager would wish they didn't, just ask the orphans or those who have lost mothers, I bet each one of them wishes they had one. This poem is written from God's point of view in case you were wondering.
Thanx to those who read my blog, I enjoy sharing with you.

Getting Somewhere

Life can be compared to an airport. It is a chaotic organized jumble of people all trying to get someplace in the world. The planes are each leaving to a certain place in life, which places the passengers are trying to reach.
One passenger has awaited his flight his whole life. He arrives at the gate hours early and simply waits. Another passenger never really cared where he was going and made a last minute decision to board the plane. He arrive barely in time.
Now the third passenger flys standby. He arrived at the airport with only an idea of where he might be going, yet he might be the most prepared. He will go through the airport checking boards, making phone calls and gathering information before he selects his flight.
There is no telling which of the three will be more successful with the direction they've chosen. It might be the man who took all the classes to be on that flight, if he fails he has no other choice, or maybe it will be the one who didn't care about his class selections and simply picked a random place. Possibly it could be the man who took every class available to him. The man who, though he did not have a ticket upon entering the airport, took the most time in making a wise decision.
I do not know if or when I'll get married. I don't know which college I'm going to. I don't know which teachers I'll have next year or how they will affect later decisions. I do know that I am entering that airport. I only have a few small bags but I am ready to fill them with knowledge. I will travel through the halls for as long as it takes to find my place. I can use my talents to help influence my decisions so that one day I can walk up to a ticket agent and say, "I'm ready to board."

Rainy Days

It’s been days of rain both outside the house and in. Grey days have hit our home. Days when you cry yourself to sleep while listening to others tears. Every family goes through hard times, no marriage is perfect. Every time my step dad and mom have a fight I get afraid that maybe this time it won’t be okay. The past has shown me, that with the sun comes happier faces, yet the fear that happiness won’t return can be terrible. My brother resolved that he would not go to sleep until the fight ended, sometimes I stay up with him and listen.

I just want to march up stairs and shake my step dad and say, “Listen, just listen to her, just hold her, just tell her you love her that’s all she wants!” Maybe to him it isn’t so simple. I understand my mother because me and her have very similar personalities. I know from myself that when she cries she just wants to be held. In this troubling world there are so many days when your hurt, or stressed, or have just had a bad day and sometimes the whole world seems to press in on your chest, and the tears don’t seem to ever stop. It hurts, and sometimes it feels as if your heart really has the capacity to break. At times like these you cry, you scream, you complain, you yell and somewhere inside you all you really want is to be held and told your loved until it all goes away, until love washes the pain right out.

This is something my step dad doesn’t get. I don’t think he likes to see tears much. I have never seen or heard him cry, I don’t even know if he ever does. He doesn’t like any of us to cry outside our rooms. When I came to this house I had to learn to cry alone. It’s terrible to bear all the pain of tears and sadness until it passes. Sometimes you need someone there to share the hurt with you. I hope that one day when I get married I won’t have to cry alone any more. I hope that my spouse will know what pain is like and that he will hold me as I cry. I want my mom to have the same thing. I just wish my step dad would understand, but he doesn’t.

Of course I know that neither of us really do cry alone. God is always there listening to our silent prayers and watching each tear fall. I know that he cares for us, but he can’t be here. That is why we were given families, so that they could love and comfort us when our heavenly father cannot. There are many different personalities. I sometimes envy my sister for her ability to hide all the pain, as if it never existed. All hurt seems to pass through her as if she were immune to it. I sometimes wonder if my step dad is the same way. 

Honestly when I think of my step dad the first thing that comes to mind is a rock. I’m sure he has to cry sometimes, maybe, but it just doesn’t seem like he really ever feels sadness, hurt, betrayal, or pain. I know he must feel emotions as all humans do, but I don’t know how he cannot show them. Me and my mom express our emotions freely, that’s not always a good thing and many times I wish that I could hide my emotions as easily as some do. Isn’t it true that the silent child is the child every parent wants and the opinionated child is the one they hope they don’t have? It seems that way. 

At times I feel this blog a good way for me to write what I am feeling. I don’t want to offend any one or make my step dad look bad or anything. It just seems like peace is staring him right in the face and he won’t take it. I’m sure he has his own point of view on why he won’t just simply hold my mother, all I know is that I don’t understand it. Loving someone seems so simple, loving someone who is crying and hurting may be more difficult but I know it can be done.

From feeling the nothingness and empty pain of crying alone I wish that every one can always have somebody to hold them while the tears flow. I don’t know of any one who wants to feel sadness, but we all feel it anyway. Hopefully the sun will shine tomorrow both outside and in, it is late and I will hopefully sleep. Now I say goodnight to the constant stars if only life could be like them, bright and steady.