An Expression of how I Feel

Sometimes I feel hurt, confused, and sad. Sometimes I feel happiness and joy. But most of the time i just feel neglected. It's easy to feel this way in a large family, but I feel it so much it hurts. I feel lonely and left out. I feel as if my needs are never as important as any one else. If a child needs shoes my parents would rush out to buy them new ones, when my shoes are falling apart and I can feel the ground through their worn soles they tell me to find time to ride my bike to a shoe store and buy shoes myself. I seem to cry so much I feel as if my face will be permanently stained, yet I've only cried for joy once in my life. When others are sick they are cared for and loved, when I'm sick I'm told to take a pill and go to my room, alone and unwanted. No one seems to ever understand how I hurt, especially my mother who only seems to want to get rid of me. I've always had to turn to my stuffed animals for comfort, the only things that seem to care, understand, and listen. I know it's hard sometimes for parents of so many children to get to every child's needs, and they always tell me I demand the most and they give me most of their time, that's not how I see it. I wouldn't care so much about not getting paid in the family except for the fact that my younger siblings who do much much easier jobs get paid lots of money, while I seem to help more than any of them and get much less. I feel as if my room is the only santuary that I can run and hide in feeling safe and yet completely lonely. You probably aren't that interested in this or how I feel I can understand that, and if your anything like my mother you'll probably just say I'm pity partying myself, I don't care all I know is I feel hurt, neglected, lonely, and this is one way I know how to express myself. I once wrote a poem and in it we were supposed to say what we most wanted in the whole entire world, I put that I wanted to be understood, something simple that I may never have.